This anniversary has come at an interesting time nonetheless.  At a time where things just aren't so great.  It's complicated and is a long story, so I'm not going to get into it to much.  Life and relationships are hard, hard with family.  As you get older, relationships with family get a little different.  You're no longer that little kid who lives on love.  Now you have circumstance, issues, disagreements and everything to deal with.  Unfortunately, love isn't as free spirited as it once was.  This is so true with my family.  Too involved with my relationship with Matt, I feel that I am starting to get pushed away.  I've been living, rather not doing the best living, on the premise that nothing in my life is positive.  My older brother seems to think I'm inadequate or something like that.  His relationship with his ex ended at their 3 1/2 or so year mark.  It was ugly for at least 2 of those years and got even worse at the last year.  Everyone was effected by his relationship and relieved and happy once he was out of it.  The last thing I thought is that in a way, it would bite me in the butt.  

Now everyone seems to have S* (older brother's ex) phobia.  My relationship with Matt is at the fore-front of everyone's opinions because we've been together for longer.  You'd think it would be different, but it's not.  Matt gave me a ring, not an engagement ring, but a promise ring on my birthday.  It was something that came at the right time and we both felt good about everything in our relationship.  Afterwards, my mom and brother must have talked (they do that often) about my life and where it's going.  The next day my mom made it clear that she doesn't think my relationship with Matt is a good long term thing.  This has happened off and on in our relationship.  Which is interesting because I'm not afraid of us not being together.  If we decided it would be better to not be together, we are genuinely open and supportive of each other.  Matt and I have a lot of fun together, he's a sweet guy and very helpful to my family.  But yet, they always seem to take what he gives and doesn't appreciate it.  Maybe they are holding him to such a high standard for me?  I don't know.  He always raises up to help them and the same for me.  

Their opinions never come in an understanding way.  My brother, who is quiet, does it in ways which puts Matt and I, our relationship, in a negative light.  He may joke, or blow up once other things wrong with me in his eyes, get too much.  But the truth is, whenever things are wonderful with Matt and I'm so happy, they don't pay attention.  When Matt and I are in a rough spot, it's usually due to me being stressed about my family and then they start paying attention.  Quick to judge and quick to talk down.  This doens't end with my relationship with Matt, that's only the begining.  

But, despite what anyone thinks or says, I love Matt with all my heart.  Whatever happens, happens.  I'm young and ambitious about learning from my mistakes.  If Matt and I honestly got to a point where we thought it would be best for both of us to move on, we would.  Being friends always.  Matt is my best friend, always will be.  So much of what he does, what keeps amazing me about him, is stuff that happens between us.  This reminds me soooo much of Ink and I.  Ink is humbling, most of the most amazing occurrences in our relationship are things no one see's.  Yet when my dad comes to visit Ink, he's naughty and well, doesn't think much of him or understands US.  Sounds familiar, minus the naughty.

Matt and I have an interesting story.  Our dad's knew eachother for some time.  Matt and I even probably passed eachother, or saw eachother throughout our childhoods.  Matt knew my older brother but not me.  It was probably fate, we both agree, that we met when we did, because we might not have ended up together if we met when we were really young. 

My best friend ST was dating Matt in fall '05.  We didn't go to school together then (me & my best friend) so I didn't know who her new (and first) boyfriend was.  About 2 months or so later I think, they broke up.  Matt later told me, when we began dating, that he just didn't like her like that, so he broke it off.  While ST said, they broke up mutually.  Oh high school romances!  On February 3rd, (about 4-5 months since ST & Matt broke up)  ST came over and we were on my computer.  She said to see if Matt was on AIM, so I added his screen-name and what do you know, he was on.  I told her I had this grand plan of messing with him because after all, he hurt my best friend!  We ended up talking late, late, into the night and eventually decided that we had to meet.  So much for my "plan."  The next day, Matt and I decided to go to the Movies that night, my little bro and his GF were going to go too.  ST was OK with it, but told me that I wouldn't like him etc.  Well, when I met him, I had a HUGE mega-watt smile, he was special.  We took a walk before the movies and talked, wow.  The rest is history!  ST became pretty upset about Matt & I and eventually didn't talk to me anymore.  This sounds bad, but there is a lot more to the story.  Matt was great for me and we were great for each other. 

Well today is four years! 

But, afterwards, the sun came out and I was able to give him a quick hose down as well as clean and condition his mangy tail.

It's hard to tell from this angle, but my worst nightmares have come true.  Ink's top-line has melted...just melted away :(.  All of that hard work, gone so quickly.  Oh well for now.  At least his butt looks lovely!

On a side note.  Over the weekend, Matt and I spent time with his best friend & his girlfriend, who also has horses.  They trailered over and we spent Saturday at my barn then took a trail ride through the vineyards.  The following day, we went to their place and went up to the barn where she (Ashley) keeps her two horses. 

I love meeting new horse friends :). 

If you blog, have you ever been faced with the idea or task of choosing a topic or path from the day to write about?  See, I could have gone so many different directions just based on one silly little detail from today and be able to write a long, drawn-out post about it.  Such as; Ink's patch of un-clipped hair (lol..), the puddle hopping we did today and how fun and productive it is or how rain (upon which was furious today) effects a barn full of horses.  Sometimes the task to figure out just what in the world to write about is far greater than actually writing.

So I sit down and wing it!  I quickly remember the day (which is sometimes more exciting and neat than the way it comes out on the blog..fyi ;) )  and begin to let my mind, thoughts and memory do all the writing.  I just wanted to put that out there, that quite frankly there is just so much that happens in one day with horses and each time you sit down to blog about it, sometimes the neatest things of the day are so minor that they get left behind.  Some things you just have to be there to understand or appreciate.  I do my best to bring all you readers into the life of Ink, but that's harder than it seems.  My mind and hand to write, have been pouring out whatever comes up, that at times, it seems like a jumbled mess when I go back to read what I wrote.  Sorry, key-word vomit!

Onwards to the details from today..

 I have been getting Ink out almost daily, to help keep him in balance.  Too much inside time and he's a mental, emotional, physical mess.  Even if it's turn-out in the arena, or lunging, any good time to stretch is good for him.  But, there is only so long that stays appealing.  Ink, like with most horses and riders, need change.  Keeping things predictable just isn't fun.  I was debating on letting Ink have a good turnout in the arena and taking Errika on a trail ride through the vineyards.  But I suddenly, well over a short period, changed my mind and thought that today I'd take Ink out on a short hack instead.  The storms have hit pretty good around here, so I was delighted to see a break and even some sun in the early afternoon.  Things just fell into place, a break in the storm, Ink was being good, I felt good about the idea and off we went.  At first Ink was a little anxious and I felt he was prepared to take off in a gallop or hop around, so I let him trot out until he felt good to come back down to a quieter walk.

It proved to work and I brought Ink down to a quiet but brisk walk.  He was excited and marched forward ready to explore the surroundings.  There were many puddles and I practiced setting him up for each and going straight through the middle as if we were approaching a jump.  Good start!  He walked right through puddles happily responding to my, I would like to say requests, but as the leader, they were demands.  Which Ink was, I could tell, surprised by and therefore enthusiastic about following my lead.  He was defiantly in a work, "let's go," "let's do it" mood.  It was a short hack, we walked to the pond and back.  I have taken very little hacks solo and mostly for safety sake.  But I feel comfortable with taking Ink out solo these days and it seems to be a great time to work on our trust.  

I saw a dark cloud coming from the west.  With thunder and lightning in the forecast, I decided to head back and make sure we were safe inside before the storm cloud got any closer.  Luckily, I was not in the mode to continue and just ride through rain, because not too long after we arrived back at the barn, the rain came.  It started with quiet sprinkles and then suddenly, and I mean suddenly, it began pouring.  Then the wind came, a darker cloud rolled in and the thunder started rumbling.  

But..I forgot to mention..  When I got to the barn, I made sure I quickly un-tacked Ink and turned him out into the arena for a good 'reward' roll.  (He loves doing that after a ride.) 

Luckily I saw no lightning.  I was preparing grain in the grain room and left the front door open so I could watch Ink to make sure he didn't freak out through more thunder.  (The grain room door, is parallel to the end of the arena.) It began to rumble harder.  I kept my eyes on Ink who was actually standing looking straight at me.  He knew very well what I was up too.  It poured and rumbled hard, Ink actually spooked and ran with his tail up like an Arab, head high.  Then quickly calmed down and came back to watch me.  I have to be honest and say, I'm enthralled by thunder and lightning.  It's a big LOVE but scare relationship.  Being all alone at the barn, I was scared, but still a little excited.  I was scared to go in that grain room alone.  So it was comforting to have Ink close by...LOL.  No really.

Well, the rain continued, the thunder left.  Ink was chill and all was good. 

The above photo was taken today looking out from the indoor arena aisle way to the barn where Ink lives.

Errika's condition began to drop a bit.  It concerned me and the fact that it wasn't concerning to people it should have been, was enough for me to go, "hold on a second.."  I can be walked over (don't tell Matt this) but the minute I work my tush off only to have my horses not being treated like they should, that is a different story.  There are no exceptions to that.  The past is the past though and now I look back and see that my concerns were not and still aren't being understood.  I moved for my sake and for my horses'.  I was tired, I wasn't enjoying what I was working hard for.  I will give myself that at least, I was working hard.

Anyway, the new year is time to look back and think about what happened during the past 365 days.  So I consider this, looking back.

The clip job went all well, until I got to the front end of the big bay horse.  He hated it.  I got my little voice and tried to baby him through the process, knowing it probably tickled.  It was also probably a little uncomfortable when the big clippers were going over the shoulders and more sensitive parts.  I did my best to stay slow and easy, but I couldn't continue.  Ink had had enough for the night.  I tried the next day to re-approach.  Ink had a couple large patches of hair.  He looked like someone took clippers to him for fun, going in a multitude of directions, clipping here and there to see what kind of artistic masterpiece there was to be made.  I was only able to almost finish the clip with lots of patience.  Even my instructor couldn't finish.  There was no way I could finish a certain patch.  Right at his shoulder, just below his withers, on each side, two medium sized patches glared back at me.  The job was certainly not done, and these two ridiculous patches of hair were looking pretty offensive.  

I got giggles and laughs from people over my clipped-challenged horse.  But there was nothing I could do.  Ink had just had enough and there was no which way around that.  So I said, "Ok," and left it at that.  Inside I'm furious with this clip, because it looks HORRIBLE.  And Ink, he's so handsome, he deserves the best looking clip to enhance his beauty :)!  He went the rest of the season with those rediculous, blasted patches always staring back at me..

Clipping is a necessary evil - for me that is.  It's an art with Ink.  As with most things regarding the big bay horse. -  The perfect balance of many ingredients such as patience, understanding, finding center and knowing when and where to begin to clip and how to approach the job.  It's constantly under assessment of his ever critiquing self.  He's very sensitive and he demands almost near perfection.  Oh brother..why even clip then!?

I tell you, a clipped horse is a smart looking horse.  It's definitely much prettier than their wooly coats.  That is on most horses.  And this is my opinion of course.  I do like wooly bear coats on some horses :).  But Ink, well he looks like a finely groomed gentlemen all clipped.  But it doesn't just serve for appearance sake..  There is also a practical means behind it.  They don't sweat as much because they are not wearing a down jacket anymore. They dry much, much faster when they do sweat.  The coat is much more manageable because a quick sweep with a soft dandy brush does the trick, verses you curry, hard brush etc, routine.  For horses being worked it's a very practical practice.  And, did I say it's pretty? :)

But it's not always easy.  I'm on day 3 of clipping Ink.  This is not a joke.  I did most with the big clippers and once I got to the sensitive parts, Ink said, "HECK NO, KEEP THOSE AWAY."  I bought some smaller clippers to finish the job yesterday.  I was able to get all but a small area.  - To finish tomorrow!  But, it's a long, slow, process with Ink.  If I do say so, the clip looks mighty good for what it did yesterday.  It's not as perfect and flawless as I would like, but it's close considering the patient.

Pictures to follow :).

Ink has been up and down too, but still, everything is optimistic.  He gashed up his head somewhere last week and I came to the barn to find a bloody, rather large cut on his head just below his star.  It's healing now fine and everything is ok. 

I've been lunging Ink mostly, haven't rode since the Sunday after Christmas.  He's doing very well though and I've been having fun working on Ink's lunging etiquette :).  He's been nice and relaxed on the line without any tension.  It's been a lovely time.  

I bathed Ink this afternoon in hopes to attack, clip, the wooly coat tomorrow.  I fixed up his scraggly mane but Ink, as usual was fidgety.  I gave him a hoof pick to hold onto.  Yes, he has to hold onto something when I do any type of speciality grooming; body clipping, mane pulling etc.  Silly horse!  Once Ink had the hoof pick to hold onto, he was content and quiet.  I love my horse just for the laughs alone :).

A lot of things have happened.  We welcomed in another addition to the family a yellow lab pup named, "Brody."  Soo cute!  - He was a Christmas present from my older brother to his girlfriend.  Totally a huge surprise!  I received my cherry-wood tack trunk on Christmas morning!  - Stunning!  I need to get some pictures up soon.  Ink and Errika are happy, healthy and doing well.  The family get-togethers were enjoyable - what more could you ask for?

Yesterday, Matt's cousin came over after dinner to ride with us.  Errika was being miss impatient during the riding portion..  Of course it was close to feeding time, so I will give my super mare the benefit of the doubt ;).  Ink was being such a good boy, that I decided to put her up on him and what do you know - he was GREAT for her!  He's going to be such an awesome horse for some little girl one day when he's older.  I was very proud of him.  Ink was listening, being kind and patient with her.  

On Wednesday we leave at 3am for our early morning flight to Las Vegas.  Whoopie!!!  I have so much last minute stuff to do before we leave and my check-list keeps growing!  

I hope everything had a wonderful Holiday!! 

It's only 5 days until Christmas, wow!  It's come so fast and before we know it, the new years will have come and gone too.  Which reminds me, resolutions..  Share your resolutions through comments.  After the first I'll do my annual New Year's Res post.  

We went out Friday night to go to my cousin's new bar.  My older brother wanted to get many more drinks in me than I had planned.  Besides being tired from the long day, I just wasn't into the idea of getting drunk (I know, I'm not cool, tehe..).  I did have a yummy beer from the bar.  The bar serves only beer on tap, it was quite cool to see the place. 

For my birthday I got some nice gifts.  My parents ordered me (made by a local tack store) a Cherry wood tack trunk.  They are aboslutely gorgeous!!  I'm very excited about that.  Matt also bought me a diamond 'promise' ring.  It too is very beautiful and special.  My BM got me an event watch too, totally awsome!!   

My birthday also is the horses' because I always get something to use on them or some more horse related supplies.  This year, for birthday and X-mas I got a Newmarket stable blanket (for Ink), a new set of black polos & new breeches (shocking I went for the breeches instead of the half pad...lol).  Blanket is the pic up left, isn't it nice??

On an added note, Ink's swelling is down in the right hind almost completely and he was trotting just fine on it yesterday.  And the new joint supplement seems to be working really well already.  Ink is looking more comfortable and moving better everyday. 

After I took Errika on a ride in the vineyards, I came back debating on weather or not to ride Ink.  I decided I might just lunge him instead.  When I went to pull him out, his right hind leg was swollen about 3 inches below the hock.  At first I was worried, a swollen puffy leg isn't something you like to see when you go to pull your horse out.  I palpated it, checked for heat and looked it over.  A little heat, not much though.  Then I remembered that wicked kick from the day before, yep I think we found the culprit..

So Ink is going to get the next 2-3 days off obviously depending on how things look within the next 24 hours.  I gave him a little bute, cold hosed, wrapped and put him snuggly under blankets and grain mash.  Hopefully this blows over without any added surprises.